What gives?

Now that I'm done with this first phase of nursing (claiming that I pass my nclex exam next month in Jesus'name)... I think I'll open myself up to meeting new people. New men. Yesterday, April 23rd... made it nine years since I've been officially single. I say officially because I haven't had a "significant other" label since that day. Yessssssss, I've been with two men in that time...but never been their official woman.  Nine years! To me, that's a bit...Um....interesting.

When Jay died nine years ago, I honestly didn't think that nine years would go by without me getting into another relationship. I honestly thought someone would scoop me up off my feet soon after.  Like, I thought that I was "that chick". You know, the one that a man wouldn't let get away. The one that a man would be proud to call his own. The one who would become a man's best friend and then his wife. Well, it never happened. What a blow to my ego, lol.

I'm a great catch. Even though my life hasn't been as fulfilling to me as I would want, but I'm one of those rare women regardless. I know my worth...although I've short-changed myself through the years. I've watched men that I liked who liked me back get with other women after me and either marry them or get into serious relationships. What the hell gives?

I'm still the same woman. I love hard, I'm caring, smart, thoughtful, considerate, funny, loving, sweet, loyal, trustworthy, sensitive, dependable, uplifting, safe, sexy, cool... I can cook, very well if I do say so myself... I have manners... People love me and love being around me... I'm a wonderful mother... like, what the hell else should I be in order for a man to want me and only me? I watch women who can't boil water be treated like queens...women who don't consider a man's feelings, won't cook, won't clean, won't support his life...these women have men in their lives. What gives?

I'm about to make this nursing career official. I've been told that as soon as it happens, men will be coming my way...but it doesn't seem fair. Ohhhhhhhh well... I guess we'll see what happens. In the meantime, I'll keep studying for my exam. What God has for me...it is for me. I just hope HE has a husband for me.