Truth is. . .

. . . I'm just not ready.  As much as I feel I want it, I'm not ready.  The years I should've spent getting ready, I spent delaying my blessings.  Now, I'm in recovery mode.  Operation: Death to Comfort Zones and Operation: Get My Shit Together are presently underway.

I must say, this part of the process is pretty painful.  And I understand why.  Fuck around and remain complacent in life and you'll eventually realize how much of a fuck up you have been and will have to admit it to yourself.  It hurts like hell.  And to realize that you being a fuck up for so long has been tolerated by people around you. . . People who've gotten their shit together while you've just  watched . . . It's fucked up.

I'm not feeling myself right now.  I'm not feeling my situation and I'm not feeling where I've brought myself.  I'm still thankful to God for this, though. 
There's still time for repairs to be made and I'm all in.  This is going to have to be a "move in silence" project.  There's really nothing to say about it.  It stings like 1,000 bees in one spot, but it's necessary for my growth. 

Please give me the strength, Lord.  I don't want to quit and I don't want to miss out on anything else.  As much as it hurts, I still feel I need to thank you for the experience. 

UNDER CONSTRUCTION